5 1/2 years of HELL

   I am starting this blog to partly help others and partly get assistance with the help I SO desperately need. I was in love with a sociopath for 5 1/2 years. I never knew what this was, always considered it to be murderers etc...I always knew something was not right with the things I was subjected to though.  I always blamed it on his drug problem and the things that happened to him as a child. I always believed therapy, medication or both could help him. I want EVERYONe everywhere to know that THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE... THEY CAN NOT AND WILL NOT CHANGE. They are demons as I call it. I have been doing research for months on this and I really wish there was more people aware of these kinds of beings. They are ALOT more common then most people think. I plan on writing some details of events that occurred but due to my chronic wrist and hand pain from my repetetive strenuous job i am trapped in i cannot type long.  I want to ask if anyone would be kind enough to donate to me so I am able to attend the retreat at http://saferelationshipsmagazine.com/retreats-2  Since being with a sociopath  he used me until i have nothing left, i dont even know how i am going to pay my bills, he went through my entire savings and i make less money then my bills are. I do not have anyone else here to help me. So i am pretty much doing this as a last resort, i dont have health insurance I cant afford to get it through my job so i have not been able to continue counseling , and the domestic violence counselor i have seen who is free told me this retreat may be the last resort for me to get back to normal. I never have done anything like this in my life but i am truly desperate and dont know where else to turn, just in hopes that someone is willing to help me. I just want my life back. I will continue this more tomorrow it is very painful to think about and i am very suicidal most of the time since he abandon me a month ago after promising marriage a normal life, etc..and i fell for it yet again.